Even if she were to contact me I would just avoid it (like I do). I have nothing to say, when you walk out on someone and leave them, how do you think they would react. You are basically saying "Go F yourself, I don't care." So forgive me if I pretend like you don't exist outside of my blog, which I'm pretty sure is more credit and time then you would ever give me. I have a question for her; At the end of the day when you go home and have no one to share your success, accolades, and grievances with, and I mean really share these things with some one (not friends) where will you be? I don't even think I'm bitter anymore because at least now I can talk about it without the attachment of emotion. I'm just bothered by a couple of things/mistakes I made which I will list in a numerical order.
1. I was never as much in love as I was in love with you.
I never in a million years imagined the person I would have these feelings for could be as heartless in return when it was all said and done. But then again I never though I'd be that much in love and have the other person walk out on me. Now I live life for myself, so I guess that is a positive.
2. All the warning signs were there but I was so blinded by love I chose to ignore them.
All the major problems we had always came from you. I know there are two people in a relationship but fuck me you had a lot of issues. Which didn't mean anything because I accepted you for who you are. All I ever wanted was you, just as you were but even that was too much for you too handle. I know there are two sides to a story, and there were two parties involved, but the blame falls on you. I'm not saying I was perfect in the relationship but holy shit if there were a badge for being a fucking trooper and sticking it out through thick and thin, I would've been a three time recipient.
3. Now I deal with the consequences of the fallout.
Do you remember when we were at the animal shelter getting Optimus Prime? You probably don't, who are we kidding. Let me remind you, when were standing outside in the lobby waiting to go inside and meet Sunny AKA Optimus Prime you asked me "What's wrong?" I replied nothing but that wasn't entirely true I was thinking if we split it's gonna suck because I'm gonna miss that little guy (which I do). Sure I could get another cat, but that's not the same. It's consequences that I was aware of but because I thought I was so in love I didn't care. Like getting involved with someone I worked with. I was at Palomar for three years and made a few friends. Well it's your office now so I don't really go by there, granted I have no reason too. But it would be nice to go in and not feel like I'm on egg shells or have people think I'm there because you work there. Just more consequences at this point. If those are the worst then so be it I think I'll live.
Even at my worst, time still travels on. The sun still will shine in the sky. The stars will still shimmer at night. Even if somethings missing and I don't think it's right. I know me and Jager will be alright.
Signed sincerely me
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